Thoughts Of A Menstruating Woman

25 Dec


Many a times have I heard men dismiss a woman as ‘PMSing’ every time she gets cranky and irrational. I agree that we go through erratic mood swings which may get difficult to comprehend for you uterus lacking people, but here is a peek into what goes on in a woman’s mind when the menstruation demon decides to pay her the monthly visit. I hope you would sympathize and fetch your girlfriend, sister or best friend some chocolates the next time she turns into a volcano of confused emotions. Or maybe not?

“Oh my god! These cramps feel like contractions! I’m never having a baby!”
“I need to eat some ice cream. It will help soothe my tummy. Oh god no! I’m going to throw up!”
“Maybe I should date this guy, he is so nice to me. Should I message him a casual ‘hi’? Or will that be too desperate? I’ll just send him a funny joke. What if he doesn’t reply? Wait I’ll just see if he is online. Oh great he is. I’m sending a ‘hi’. Oh lord what did I do! Now he will definitely know that I’m stalking him. I’m doomed.”
“I think I should order those cute shoes. Yellow ones or blue ones? Yellow ones are cuter. But blue ones are more useful. I’ll ask my friend. *2 minutes later*. Why the hell is she taking so long to reply back? I’ll just buy the yellow ones. But I already have a similar pair in yellow. Arrgggh I will just wait for the end of season sale and buy whichever is left.”
“What am I doing with my life? I should be doing something more fulfilling. I think I’m going to take a year off and work with an NGO.”
“I wonder what my loser ex boyfriend is upto nowadays. I’m totally over him, a peek into his facebook page won’t hurt. Mr. Selfcenteredasshole uploaded a photo with Miss Iusemyboobstodrawattentionawayfrommyuglyface. How did he get over me so soon?! Great, my eyes won’t stop leaking now. I’m definitely going to throw up.”
“I feel like doing something nice for the people I love. Maybe I will send them all handmade candles as a New Year gift. Or maybe hand made cards. But it will be a lot of work. Okay I will call everyone up and talk for sometime. Who am I kidding? A ‘Happy New Year’ IM should suffice.”
“Look at all these girls. Wearing designer clothes, holidaying in Europe, hanging by the arms of cute guys. And look at me. Sprawled on the bed in my sweatpants, clutching my stomach. Ughh.”
“It is freezing in here. I wish I could hibernate during the winters. Hot flash! Hot flash! I’m burning up! Damn you, periods!”
“I’m going to take a nap. My sides are aching but I cant sleep on my tummy or back. I’ll stab myself if I stain the bedsheet and have to wash it. This pain is blinding, I should have a painkiller. Maybe I should buy those yellow shoes…”


One Response to “Thoughts Of A Menstruating Woman”

  1. Nicholas Legends January 7, 2014 at 2:17 pm #

    to all males, doesn’t matter if u do as she says … whatever u do, her reaction to your action would b like spinning the “wheel of fortune” … here’s better advise, watch Modern Family S03E17 and just don’t do what Phil does ! šŸ˜€

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