Steps To Heal A Mutilated Heart

13 Nov

So your partner just broke up with you and life seems to have lost all its purpose. You are cranky, irritable and always ready to bite off heads. It feels like you are standing helplessly on a quicksand which is slowly sucking you in, you are losing parts of yourself, and at one point, you don’t even struggle to get out of it, what’s life worth now anyway?

We all have been stuck in that place at least once in our lives and things really do seem bleak at that point. However, most of us would also stand testimony to the fact that no matter how impossible it seems then, we do get over the person and move on. All we need is time, and a tiny little hope and urge to start over.

Here are a few good things about being single and a few simple things to keep in mind while tending to a broken heart and a bruised ego.

1. You save on a lot of money. All the money earlier spent on phone bills, travel, birthday gifts, anniversary gifts, first date gifts, first kiss gifts are now all yours to spend! Go splurge on those cute overpriced shoes or the hard drive you have been wanting for so long.

2. All the time you spent on talking about your last meal, or what is happening with her sister’s brother in law’s neighbour can now actually be put to good use. Explore yourself. Give wings to your creativity. Write, paint, dance, sing, travel. You might just have a Picasso or an Enid Blyton hidden inside you, waiting to be discovered.

3. Now you can finally do all the things you couldn’t while in a relationship because your partner didn’t approve of them. Always wanted to get a Rihanna bob but didn’t because your boyfriend loved your long tresses? Now is the time to give yourself that makeover!

4. Meet new people and make lots and lots of friends. Remember. You may have given up on love, but love definitely hasn’t given up on you. You might just end up marrying the next person you say ‘hi’ to! Don’t try to fight love, its futile. It’s not love you have your battles against, your battles are against your partner who wronged you.

5. Humans are prone to doing exactly what is prohibited. Hence, never set negative goals for yourself. Set small, achievable goals framed in a positive statement. Thus, instead of “I will not think about him/her”, tell yourself, “I will engage myself an hour everyday in reading/working out/dancing.”

6. Do not shut your friends out because you are too embarrassed to talk about the whole mess. You call them friends for a reason. They will wait till you are strong enough to talk about it yourself, months, even years later. Though once you are completely healed, drunk at a reunion years later, they might just tell you about the intolerable jerk you were the entire time you were lovestruck, and you will find yourself agreeing and laughing along with them!

7. Staying all day in your pajamas, with messy and oily hair or unshaven beard might seem like the way of life post breakup, and can be allowed for a day or two, maybe even a week. But a very important and easy way to lift your spirits is to do whatever makes you feel beautiful and confident. Dress yourself up everyday, do your hair, shave off the Hagrid like beard, resume the dance lessons or restart going to the gym. Looking pretty or getting back into shape will immediately make you feel better about yourself.

8. All the sad songs will make sense right now, even the cheesy ones. Every other song will seem like it has been written just for you and that the singer is empathising with you. DO NOT fall into that trap. Listening to depressing music will never make you feel better. Instead, listen to soothing, inspirational numbers. For we are not looking for another reason for self pity here. We are looking for motivation to get back up after the fall and walk away despite the bruises.

9. This may be a little out of your comfort zone, but try and volunteer a few hours at an NGO. This way, you will be extending your love and care to people who will value and treasure it. Also, you would realise that the gap toothed smile of the homeless little girl is more calming than your lover’s smile and the ecstatic licks of the tiny homeless puppy will soon make you forget your lover’s kisses.

So go ahead and try some of these. Stop drunk dialing your partner and weeping inconsolably every time they pick up your call. Remember, it really is not worth it if they have to be convinced to stay with you. You won’t be fixing your failed relationship, only delaying the end, eventually losing your identity in the process.

Save your sanity. Save your dignity. Save your soul.

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5 Responses to “Steps To Heal A Mutilated Heart”

  1. He Ha November 13, 2013 at 8:36 pm #

    How do you know? Did you ever really break-up?

  2. Srishti Jain November 22, 2013 at 1:47 pm #

    rilly naice

  3. Nicholas May 14, 2014 at 8:57 am #

    published on Thought Catalog as well :
    http://thoughtcatalog.com/manisha-jain/
    ๐Ÿ˜€

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