2012

27 Nov

She looks around dazed as she comes out of her reverie. Her face forlorn, she muses, “2012. What a dreadful year indeed. The year of losses.” She lets out a huge sigh, as if trying to heave the dark burden of vague unpleasantness off her chest, but in vain. What was that feeling? Regret? Melancholy? Bitterness? Despair? Maybe it was all of them together. Regret for all the wrong decisions. Melancholy for being a stranger in a strange place. Bitterness arising from the uneasy icy grip on her heart.

Desolation.

The year started off with an omen, warning her of all the events about to unfold in the next few months. She rationalizes, telling herself she couldn’t have done much even if she could have deciphered it and paid heed to it. As each month passed by, and the horrible feeling kept mounting, she started losing conviction in her self statements of “its all going to be fine soon”, and started giving in to hopelessness, and the most crippling disease- self pity.

Somewhere, the Evil cackled mercilessly, triumphant to see her jovial spirit crumble.

Her mind wandered off to the people she lost out on this year. Friends, loved ones, acquaintances. Having always been someone surrounded by people, she suddenly found herself falling into an abyss, with only a few hands reaching out to pull her back. The people who she knew she could fall back on were reduced to mere names on her Facebook page.

She is distracted by the chatter of monkeys on the tree outside her window. Her stream of thoughts shifts to the present. She tries to connect the sequence of seemingly unrelated events that led to her landing in a place where she doesn’t remember waking up in the morning without a damp sinking feeling in her heart, only wanting to clutch onto her mother’s pallu in desperation and never let go. 4 months down, and she still wonders if she took a sensible decision. She steels herself, phrasing it as just a matter of 2 years and not 4 semesters, to make the figures sound smaller, and trying to build strength on the fact that half a year is already over.

As the eleventh month of the year draws to a close, she tries to muster up some strength and positivity, focusing on the pleasant and promising events in the new year. The advent of a new life, strengthening of new friendships and hope for anything that will make the next year bearable. She looks forward to the new year with a childlike hope, silently pleading for it to be kind, a small smile curling up on her lips as she tells herself,
“Its all going to be fine soon…”.

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2 Responses to “2012”

  1. Nicholas November 28, 2012 at 9:23 am #

    u lived thru 1 sem … xams to clear nd go home ! 😀 😀
    thn jus survive a few mor sems nd ur done befor u even realize it ! ;D

  2. Deep November 28, 2012 at 2:18 pm #

    🙂 Stellar!…Like Always!

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